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Business Articles
5 Top Tips for Eloquent Body Language
© Copyright Martin Avis. All rights reserved.
Do you shout, even when you stay silent?
There is a language that we all speak, but few are conscious of:
the language of our bodies.
When we are talking to others - either face-to-face, or from the
front of the room, our posture, gestures, eye movements and general
demeanor communicate far more than our words.
It is said that women interpret up to 80% of the meaning of a
conversation by non-verbal means. Men fall a bit behind and 'only'
rely on non-verbal clues for about 30%. However, in either case, if
you are unconsciously giving out the wrong signals, the meaning
behind your intended message will be weakened or lost.
Body language is a vast, fascinating subject, but from a business
point of view, there are several pointers that can help to
strengthen your message. The aim is to match your audience's
unconscious template of what makes a person trustworthy and
believable.
Try out these five tips and see if they help you:
1. Personal space. Everybody has a personal space threshold.
Generally, Americans and Northern Europeans prefer to stand about a
meter (3 feet) apart. People from Southern European and Asian
countries are comfortable a little closer. Folks who live in rural
areas like a little more space. Social situations allow closer
proximities than non-social.
Be aware if the person you are talking to is backing up, and try not
to intrude on their territory. Otherwise the reaction will be
defensive or hostile.
2. Eye movements. Many people are nervous about making eye contact -
it is vital to overcome that fear if you want to be respected and
believed. An evasive or indirect gaze sends out a strong signal of
untrustworthiness.
When speaking to a room full of people, it is essential that you
allow yourself to make - and maintain for a few seconds - eye
contact with everyone in the room, over and over.
++++++++++ True Story ++++++++++
I was recently invited to America to give a presentation to about
forty business people, few of them known to me. The meeting went
well and I made as much eye contact as possible. Afterwards, a guy
who had been sitting off to my left came up to me and thanked me for
a useful and entertaining talk. Then he said something strange: he
apologized for offending me.
Puzzled, I assured him that it wasn't so, and asked why he thought
so. This is what he said:
"Oh, I had a very late night last night, and after you had been
talking for twenty minutes or so, I couldn't help myself yawn. After
that, you didn't make any eye contact with me for the rest of the
session, so I figured I'd upset you."
The truth was, I hadn't seen the yawn. He had been sitting just
outside my comfortable visual area, and I had been concentrating on
eyeballing everyone else in the room so hard, that I had missed him
out.
I gave him a lot of attention he went away happy. But I couldn't
help think that that guy might have been the most important person
in the room and I could have blown the whole trip with that stupid
act of inattention.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
3. Appearance. It seems old-fashioned to talk about the need to be
'well turned out', but the axiom that 'you don't get a second chance
to make a good first impression' is as true today as ever.
Experts say that the first five seconds of a meeting are more
important than the next hour. Check all the obvious things like
hair, teeth, fingernails, shoes, breath, immediately before the
meeting. But also make sure you are putting on your best front, well
in advance.
Even if the dress code is casual, there is a world of difference
between dirty jeans and a crumpled T-shirt, and freshly laundered
casual trousers and a polo shirt. Remember - dress to respect
yourself and you automatically respect your audience.
4. Hands. Your hands are like semaphore flags. They send a message
whatever position they are in.
Take a look at prominent politicians - they almost all use their
hands to reinforce their words. Whether it is a chopping motion,
like John F. Kennedy, or an open handed gesture like the English
Prime Minister Blair, they are all intended to send visual signals
directly to the right-brain of the listener to augment the words
which normally address the left-brain.
One of the things I am asked most often when teaching presentation
skills is 'what do I do with my hands?'
The easy answer 'just be natural' is not only unhelpful, but also
completely wrong. You have to think of your hands and arms as every
bit as important as the charts and slides you are presenting.
There are five places your hands can comfortably be:
* In your pockets. Don't do it! It might feel natural, but the
signal this gives is anything but. You will look uncomfortable,
casual and unsure of yourself.
* Clasped behind your back. This looks aloof and superior, and
should be avoided.
* Relaxed, by your side. This feels very unnatural to most people,
but actually looks good to the audience. It makes you seem to lack
tension.
* On your hips. This is a very positive position. It sends out a
message that you are comfortable and self- assured. Don't overdo it.
This stance is best used at moments when you stop speaking and are
allowing the audience a moment to absorb your message.
* Gesticulating. Learn the messages that your hands convey and use
them to emphasize your points: an open hand denotes honesty; a
closed fist, aggression or evasion; a pointing finger, hostility.
Also be aware of cultural differences. The American thumb and
forefinger gesture meaning 'okay' may be insulting in Denmark.
5. Read the room. You are not the only one who is communicating
non-verbally. Learn to recognize the unconscious signals that your
audience is feeding back to you.
* A tilted head and direct eye contact indicates attentive approval.
* Raised eyebrows and forward-leaning posture denotes attentive
alertness.
* Indirect gaze, accompanied by pen or finger biting show
uncertainty.
* Folded arms can indicate hostility.
* A hand to the chin show that you are being summed up.
Finally, learn constantly. Whenever you watch a presenter, try to
work out why they are good or bad. Every time you make a
presentation, try to detach yourself and see how you can be even
better next time.
And remember, applause doesn't always mean you are great - the
audience might be being polite, and gentle snoring from the back of
the room doesn't always show that you need to work on your technique
- the CEO probably just had too good a lunch!
*
About the author: More plain speaking business articles by Martin Avis can be found at http://www.kickstartdaily.com
This article, and any others you find on this website are copyright Martin Avis. You are welcome to use this article in your own newsletter or website providing you do not change it in any way and that the 'About the Author' resource box is included with its live link.
Keywords: body language, non verbal communication, public speaking.
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